Grocery shopping used to be one of my favorite things. I could get my cup of Starbucks and stroll up every aisle getting inspiration for new meals. When Cooper was a baby, it was pretty much the same, only I had him strapped in the Baby Bjorn and he slept.
But now, oh now, how things have changed.
I dread the grocery store.
It takes twice as long as it used to and there is no strolling or inspiration getting.
What is there?
Carts. Carts harder to drive than my 7 passenger SUV. Carts that have massive cars on the front of them that my child insist on having. Carts that are very difficult to see all the loot that your child has crammed in there until you get to the register.
Cars 2 and other branded crap. The marketing people are freakin brilliant. You have the regular simply gogurt that I like to buy without all the high fructose corn syrup and food coloring. Then you have the Cars 2 gogurt that is chocked full of that crap and $1 more. I always try to grab the simply gogurt as I keep up my jogging pace through the store, but that never works. Cooper always knows I’m trying to pull one over on him and lets out a scream for the entire store to hear. But I want the Cars 2 yoguuurrrrt! And away we go with my child happily holding yogurt with more color in it than a rainbow.
Redbox. Redbox is awesome. Who can beat $1 for a night of entertainment? But when your kid wants a redbox movie every time you go to the store and its impossible to get it back the next day, I start to feel intense hatred for those redbox effers. The selection of kids movies is miserable and I keep renting the same movies simply so I can say, “be nice if you want to get a movie on the way out”.
I get my flustered self to the checkout and start throwing stuff on the belt, (now while trying to squeeze my huge belly in between the candy stand and the cart) when the cashier ask me, “did you remember your reusable bags?”
As much as I try not to, I feel like I always look at them with eyes that scream, you have got to be kidding me. I am lucky to not have burst into tears during this trip. (I saved my, I’m going to have 2 kids in 2.5 months meltdown for the car ride home.) And I don’t get the luxury of drinking this whole bottle of wine tonight. Nope. That’s for the hubs. The one that didn’t have to endure this shopping trip.
So we make it out, hours after we get started our fun outing, and watch our “new” redbox movie on the way home. And guess what? We get to do it again in 4-5 days.
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