Stilettos & Diapers

by Molly Wey

I'm going crazy· Motherhood· Shopping

2 year old kid shopping craziness.

Nothing really prepares you for shopping with kids. Once you have kids, you will begin to savor every solo errand run like its a weekend vacation.
Why? Because shopping with your kid goes like this.
Our first stop yesterday was Joanns. Coop was good to start. Hanging in the cart, reading a book on how to perfect cupcakes. I was picking out some fabric and doing some major debating on exposed zippers. As I’m waiting in line at the fabric cutting counter, Coop let’s out a scream.

Like ridiculously loud. Red face and clinched fist loud. I was mortified.
He is usually good in the store…not today. I leaned down to ask him why he was screaming and he did it again. This time I put my hand on his mouth to muffle the noise because yes, it was THAT loud. Everyone was looking at me.
I refused to leave because I was next in line! I gave Coop some stern talking to and threatened not to give him his candy cane once we got in the car. Okay quiet. Got to the checkout. He screamed again. Threw his jacket on the ground. I was deathly pale and sweaty.

What the frick are you supposed to do in these situations?
In the car, I told him how sad he made me and how unacceptable his behavior was. He cried and said “sorry, mommy”. Fine. We’ll try again.

Next up, Trader Joes. He loves this store because they have the little carts. He got his cart and said, “I don’t need help, Mom.” Fine. I was still annoyed and didn’t want to do anything to make him scream again. He went up and down the aisles saying “ooh, lets try this” and putting it in his cart. Haha, just like mommy. I only needed one thing, (cough, cough…almond champagne) so we were out pretty quick.

On to Target. I told him I had to look in the clothing department first and told him he has to be good or else we wouldn’t look at toys. I went into the dressing room. As I’m trying on pants, he starts singing…LOUDLY. “Oh, baby I’m a rock star” was blaring out of our room. He seemed to put just the “oh, baby” on repeat for what seemed like forever. Once we came out, of course the attendants were laughing and talking to him.

Cooper proceeded to tell them all that Daddy is in Chicago.

Sweet mercies, we’re going to be followed home.

When we passed the bra department, Coop started yelling, “Look Mom, BOOBS!” Really, Coop? As if I hadn’t been embarrassed enough today.

We managed to escape with one ripped open package of animal crackers and loads of sweat and embarrassment.

When we got home, he napped. Thank goodness.
Because this little man can sure give me a run for my money.

Comments

  1. Tales of a young mamma says

    haha-cooper and jasper sound like they could be besties. Evidence? Jasper is also obsessed with singing Loudly, and someones the only thing that will keep him happy while we are out is if mamma sings with him. Secondly? Boobs or boobies are his favorite conversation starters.

  2. Natalie says

    You think the 2 year old shopping is fun? Just wait. It gets better.
    Cheeks would always sing LOUDLY & dance. When people stared, she thinks this means she has an audience so will continue.
    If I make the mistake of letting her pick out a toy, it's over. She's ready to leave. Right then. It doesn't matter how much more I have to accomplish. She's going home to play with her new thing.

  6. Sarah says

    i did get a good laugh from your pain! the boobs comment was classic. everyone's kids say something to embarrass them, usually more than once in a lifetime! at least he didnt say something ugly or rude to someone without realizing it!

  9. Amber says

    The ol' sweating like crazy, being hugely embarrassed and a screaming baby in the cart…this is a regular occurrence in my family! 🙂 It gets better, right?!

Popular Posts

  • Stilettos and Diapers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com.

Any/all of the links on this website are affiliate links of which Stilettos and Diapers receives a small commission from sales of certain items, but the price is the same for you.

Shop My LTK