10 years ago, I was 15.
I was scared, and in pain.
My spine was bent and twisted at a 75 degree angle.
I had been through several years of back braces,
Constant pain, chiropractors, and doctors.
Everything was tried to prevent surgery,
But it was inevitable.
10 years ago, I was wheeled into the OR,
Leaving my family in the waiting room.
I remember counting backwards,
And falling asleep.
I remember them waking me up,
And asking me to move my feet.
Later to find out they had told my parents
I had lost all feeling on my left side.
I remember being overdosed by a crazed recovery nurse
And being given several blood transfusions.
I remember recovering with a broken hip,
A numb leg, and a walker.
Things a 15 year old shouldn’t have.
I remember freaking out when I weighed myself
After all the titanium they put in my back.
I remember my first flight after surgery,
Where all the metal detectors went off,
And I had to pull out my Doctors note.
I remember feeling so self conscious about my scars
And trying all sorts of creams to cover them.
But today, I remember 10 years ago,
And I feel so blessed.
Blessed to be alive.
To not be in pain.
To have been able to carry a child.
Now those couple scars are barely visible.
But I look at them and remember to be grateful.