Dear Conference Calls,
I really do loathe you. I hate that when snuggled with my sleeping baby at 7:50am, that I am suddenly made aware of your unwanted 8am arrival. You make me pounce out of bed to grind coffee and do anything else with noise that I may need for the next 2 hours. You make me and my wee one retreat to the nursery where we must sit quietly watching noggin and munching on cheerios. I cannot leave to go to the bathroom, or refill my coffee, or you and all your conference call peeps will hear screams.
You used to only arrive on Monday at 7am, stick around for an hour or so and leave. I was fine with that. Now, you come and go as you please, several days a week, and often several times a day. I am writing to request, no demand that this stop. I mean seriously, how can you possibly need to tell people that much information? You are only going to frazzle their brains as you have done to mine.
Thank you for taking this very seriously and making adjustments to your schedule, or else.
With smoke in my ears and boiling blood,