I’m starting to get kinda freaked out about this scheduled c-section. For those of you who wonder why I am having it, it’s because I make massive babies. I spent 39 hours in unmedicated labor only to get to 6.5cm. Then I totally started going the wrong direction. When they told me I was 5cm and baby’s heart rate was dropping, I was ready for a c-section. Cooper was 9lbs 2oz and never was going to get his huge head through my hips.
This time around, the Dr suggested I have a repeat section. With the size of my hubs, the likelihood of me having a normal size baby seemed pretty slim. Then when all the ultrasounds measured him at 5 weeks big, I knew natural labor was out of the question.
Even though deep down, I long to give labor another try.
Even though deep down, I long to give labor another try.
At least before, I tried. I went through the pain, the breathing, the waiting. This time, I feel like I’m cheating. Just going in and having the baby in my arms within 2 hours.
But I’m also scared.
Last time, surgery was necessary for a healthy delivery. I didn’t have time to think about it. This time, I’m going in knowing I will be put under anesthesia and cut open. I have had way too much time to freak out about it. Now that the time is getting really close, I’m freaking even more. I’m sad that I don’t get to do the “womanly” thing and delivery my baby.
On a positive side, I am happy that I will have on a full face of makeup and all fixed up hair when I meet my little man for the first time. (Because he’ll really appreciate it.) And I know I will be grateful to hold my healthy baby. I just wish things could be a little different. That I wasn’t nervous. That my body could do what it is supposed to.
Don't beat yourself up. I was in a similar situation- 32 hours of labor and only got to a 5 (but I had an epidural after 15 hrs bc I have no pain tolerance)– i plan on having a scheduled c-section next time bc I feel like I was a bit traumatized from the whirlwind of it all… You aren't cheating- you are being safe and doing what is best for your baby!
You are doing what is going to be the best for you and ur baby! You'll be great!
……the vain portion of me is quite jealous that you will be cute for your first pics!
I looked like I had just had a terrible un-medicated birth! LOL sweaty hair, pale face. Pure exhaustion!
I completely understand how you feel…Cole was 9lbs, 5 oz and would not come out on his own. It's frustrating, but at the same time, as long as he comes out healthy, it doesn't matter how he gets here.
Plus…you will look fantastic in pictures! 😉
I am so sorry you are feeling nervous about it! Having never had a c section I have no big words of encouragement but remember, not pushing your baby out does not make you less of a woman or a mom. You carried the baby and protected him and are making a decision about birth that is safer for you and him. That is what makes you a good mom. How a woman goes through labour and delivery is such a very small part of being mom.
Our body's just suck sometimes, don't they?! 🙂 But you are carrying a healthy baby and all that matters in the end is that Mommy and baby are healthy. Try not to beat yourself up. I know it's hard. I too felt like I was cheated out of giving birth the normal way and it really threw me off holding a baby in my arms without ever going through labor (without them trying to stop it!). I know next time I will most likely have to have a c-section again, and I'm sure I'll have all of these same feelings.
Melissa at Tall Blonde says
I understand this somewhat because I am one of the only in my group of friends and siblings that delivered vaginally. Everyone else was c-section and some carry a guilt and others do not. I'm not in your shoes, however I think that at the end of the day what matters is your health and his, so doing what is best for both of you is not defeat. Hang in there Momma!
I had to have a c-section with my first as well (after "only" 18 hours of labor) and am planning another one with baby #2 (due in February)…Don't beat yourself up. You are still delivering the baby regardless of which way it comes out of you.
Rachel McPhillips says
You are going to do great!! And that full face of makeup and fixed hair WILL make you feel better. 🙂
Make sure you ask about the makeup and stuff! For my scheduled c-section they said no contacts and no make up at all and I was very bummed because I thought that was a huge plus too! 🙂
The Newnams says
I had to have an emergency c-section when my first daughter was born at 37 weeks. The doctor told me we were going to the OR and within 20 minutes she was born. When I was pregnant with my 2nd daughter my doctor suggested that I have a repeat c-section. The risks for a VBAC are high and I knew that I just wanted a healthy baby. I felt like I was cheating too. I have two daughters,but have never gone into labor. But in the end that doesn't matter. I thought having a secheduled c-section would be so great because I am OCD about everything being planned and perfect but as the date got closer it only made me freak out more. Either way, you will have a healthy baby and that's all that matter. Good Luck!
Girlfriend…let me try to ease your fears a bit. I know every birth experience is different, but after spending a LONG time in labor with Addie, I too only got to 5cm and had a c-section. Maybe I am weird, or just happy that my baby girl was so beautiful and healthy, but I never felt like I missed anything by not having her vaginally. So when my doc suggested a schedule section with Blake, I was like "Sign me up!" And let me tell you, it was the most wonderful day. I went into the hospital rested, showered and even with a little make-up on 🙂 I was scared TO DEATH but the repeat went as smooth as can be. I talked to Eric the whole time and I was in recovery holding Blake before I knew it. It was so fast, so smooth, and because I hadn't been in PAINFUL labor for an entire day before, I felt happy and energetic. It really was a great experience (for me) so I always try to ease my friends fears when they have them. Being scared is normal honey, but you will be so happy you did this. Oh, and the recovery was SO MUCH EASIER the second time 🙂
I had a similar story. My labor with my daughter didn't progress so after 20 hrs I had a c-section. (she was 9.4) I was super nervous when I was pregnant with my son about having a repeat c-section. But it was a breeze. I only needed IBprofen for pain relief and felt good as new in a week. They did a spinal on me so they didn't put me out and it was nothing.
Lexie Loo, Little Lily, and Dylan Too! says
You are doing what's best for you and your baby! Hang in there! It doesn't matter how that baby comes out!
I too had a horrible long labor and had to deliver c section. 2nd and 3rd c sections were sooo much easier. You'll do great!!!!! No worries!!!!
Love this post! It's so true. All of us are scared before having a baby…especially as the clock ticks closer. The one thing ALL women have in common is that the baby is coming out of OUR body, one way or another. It's terrifying! And, it will be beautiful, sweet and it will be over, like all other moments in our life. I have had my two babies and am so longing to have another baby for that moment of meeting the baby the first time. This time is sacred, there's nothing like it. I hope you can savor that moment you see your baby in the blanket on your chest. All the rest just doesn't seem to matter.
My son was a c-section because he was transverse for 2 weeks, and never turned, so we had to schedule it, as my doctor did not want my body to go through the stress of labor knowing I'd be having a c-section. I was totally fine with it, thinking, I'll be showered, have make up on, etc., just like you are thinking. Except I went into labor 2 days before my scheduled c-section and didn't get to shower or put make up on before heading to the hospital. I never felt like I was cheating, and always said, I didn't care if they had to get the baby out through my ear, so long as everything was okay. Oh, and because of the timing – I was at the hospital at 10:30pm and had my son at 1:27am, my body felt like it had been through the ringer (I won't say natural childbirth, since I never experienced that!), since they would not let me actually fall asleep after the c-section in recovery. So I hope for your sake you do get to rest before heading to the hospital so you can truly enjoy the time with your newest baby!