I’m just about a week into my 30’s and y’all, it doesn’t feel that awesome. I’ve heard from everyone and their mother that 30’s are the best years of life, so I’m guessing that will come eventually. For me right now? It may as well be a mid life crisis.
This is 30:
1. You have an intense desire to make! all! the! babies! before your ovaries are dried up.
2. The need to eat healthy is gone, because you now realize life is too short to miss out on dessert after every meal.
3. The thought of calling the police on your teenage neighbors for disturbing the peace has crossed your mind.
4. There is dancing at the wine store when you get carded.
5. You grab a pair of earplugs. At church.
6. Googling “hot celebrities over 30” to makes you feel better.
7. You suddenly see wrinkles, veins and under eye bags that weren’t there yesterday and start searching for the best botox in your city.
8. You make a bucket list of things you want to accomplish before you’re 40. Somewhere in there are goals for your IRA and 401K.
9. The very thought of kids born in 1993 being old enough to drink makes you weep.
10. Every day struggle: