My sweet boy. You’re not my baby anymore! I often wonder how you grew up so quickly and how your eyes are almost level with mine. Today you’re 10 and it feels just like yesterday that we brought you home from the hospital.
Your independence, stubbornness and leadership skills have often stumped me when I try to discipline you. You have legitimate arguments that often put my ridiculous reasoning to shame. I’ve always had these ideas of how motherhood would be and how my children would act. You, my sweet firstborn, have been nothing but a guinea pig for my idealistic plans. You’ve made me question a lot, but not in a bad way. In a way that is teaching me; I think sometimes more than I’m teaching you.
10 years technically makes a “seasoned parent” I think, but I’m just a newbie with you. It’s my first time parenting the firstborn. Every new age, every new problem, every day. I’ve never walked there, right along with you. I’m trying to do my best and I just want you to know that I’m grateful for your grace. For your hugs when I cry because I know I got it wrong. For your rallying of your brothers to tidy up when you see I’m flustered and busy.
You’re a leader to your brothers. You may terrorize them sometimes, but the majority of what they learned, came right from you. They want to sit where you sit. To eat what you eat. To do what you do. They’re actually excited for your hand-me-down clothes. You’re a big brother that’s worth looking up to. I would be nothing but so proud of them to be just like you.
I’m not a firstborn, so I don’t know how it feels to be in your shoes. To be the one that the parents have to apologize to for trying their best, but not always getting it right. But I do know that I never want the spirit in you to change. I want you to channel your leadership, to never stop arguing for what you feel is right and to be confident forever, just as you are now. Your personality will help you succeed in life, as you strive for greatness and thrive on structure.
We’re embarking on a very new phase of life, with the double digits and the teenage years sneaking right up. We’ll all be experiencing things for the first time, in our different ways. But no matter what, I’ll be right here on your side, every step of the way. I promise to listen before speaking. To not judge and to guide you the absolute best way I know how. I won’t always get it right. But I’ll sure be trying.
So today, on your 10th Birthday, I just want you to know how special you are to me. That my heart is full of the most overwhelming pride at the thought of you. You’re such a kind and thoughtful kid that I can’t even believe I get the honor of raising. Thank you for making me a mom and taking me on the best journey life has to offer. I love you, Cooper William!