Stilettos & Diapers

by Molly Wey

Family· Totally Random· Word Vomit

Word Vomit

Me? Never.

Ask my family and they’ll tell you I’ve always been weird with my words. When I was about 8, I created “Molly’s Expandatory Vocabularyistic“. Basically just added extra syllables to every word to piss people off.

On a long road trip, I read the label on the seat belt and started calling my sister Porta Bebe for almost an entire year. (Sorry, sis)

I was that kid.

I am not one to swear, really. (Although, I’m completely convinced that comedy is way funnier with some wordy durds.) I do have a wide assortment of ridiculous things that I love saying.


Hot Mess

Anyone, anything, anytime can be a hot mess. Used at my discretion.

Holy Mother

Used to be holy crap, but that got booooring.

Shart Ton

Obv. without the swearing. Generally referring to the toys all over my living room.

Totes

Because it’s fun. And abbreviated. And reminds me of a cute purse.

For Serious?

Just a question out of shock and awe. Directed mostly at the hubs.

Skank

Anyone who looks like they should be working the corner. Or anyone (gay or straight) staring at my man. Or Rozlyn.

Word

And to that, the hubs replies with my Momma’s name. Yeah, were dorks. And yes, it technically should be HIS Momma’s name, but we roll our own way.

Sexy Beast

Initially just called Cooper that. I know, weird. Now anyone I like can pretty much be a sexy beast.

Legit

Because seriously, it’s too legit to quit. (hey, hey)

Dirty Pirate Hooker

What I call the hubs GPS, who he named Ashley. I will, however, call anyone who crosses me that. Like my sister’s, if they don’t loan me their clothes.

What are your fav random words?

Comments

  1. Ashley says

    Haha. This is so random, Molly. How did you come up with those words? 🙂 And should I be offended that your hubs calls the GPS, Ashley?! We call our Gwen…short for Gwendolyn Patricia Smith. I know, lame. 🙂 I use the word hobo for someone that looks like a ridiculous disaster. Other than that no creative words come to mind. Although I know I do it too, because hubby will just stare at me and say, "WHAT?!" 🙂

  3. Brandi says

    So funny. Me and my hubby are just like that we have little phrases that we say to each other all the time (I may have to write them down and make a post about them too becuase they are pretty funny) and I use for serious all the time.

  4. Miss M says

    I know that I have a ton of them as well, but because I don't pay attention to much that comes out of my own mouth I can only think of two… Peeps are people, obv, but not like ghetto peeps. Like little chickens… I guess…

    And "shut the front door" instead of, well, you know.

    Oh, and I say dude wayyyyy too much.

  6. Linds says

    ahahaha. I totally love this post! I say "oh my word" alot, and I used to say "For the Love" a TON but my hubbs put a stop to that. I especially like Dirty Pirate Hooker on your list… I may have to steal it from you!

  8. Stephanie Hartman says

    Molly this is so funny! I use the word Pirate hooker for all sorts of things.
    Random words in my life are..

    1.Popcorn Pimpin-That means someone who is well pimpin aka a player..
    2.Whorbag-I only use this on girls who think they need to be all over everyguy in a bar.
    3.butterface-We DO NOT use this all the time but my friends use this it means someone is goodlooking all over BUT there FACE..
    4.Holy Effin-I use this alot it basically means OMG!!
    I'm sure there are plenty more I just can't think of any at the moment..

  10. Living and Loving in L.A. says

    Oh my gosh! You crack me up!!! I totally (totes!) go through phases with words. Some of my favorites in the past have included:
    Shut. Up.
    Using the word "Like" excessively
    But um… (pronounced liked budd-umm)
    And when I was little instead of saying NO I used to say NO-AHHH and my parents would yell "ARK!"
    And I'd get so so mad.

  12. Kay says

    Ahhh I say "legit" all the time, and half the time it doesn't even make sense in context. I get made fun of for it all the time!

    Also… I have a confession. I needed to put together an outfit for an audition, and I was having a clothing crisis. So I went and browsed all your Fashion Friday posts. And with your help, my outfit magically came together.

  13. Alicia says

    hahaa!! i love this list!! probably because i say most of those words too! hmmmm i would have to add 'shut your piehole'…that's my verbage for be quiet! mostly directed towards my kids…mother of the year, right here.

  15. Rachel McPhillips says

    This is great…We call my GPS Betty.. she sounds all proper when she says "turn right in one quarter of a mile". I love the word totes, Slytherin for bad words..(hello Harry Potter?), Geez Louise, but our made up word is BOD. Pronounced like bode, it means general awesomeness. We use it as a nickname, "Hey, bod!" or "That's bod!" Totally addictive.

  16. brooke says

    oh my goodness!!! i use soo many of those too! but you are hilarious and i adore your spunk!

    and how the hey did i miss your tahoe trip?!?! fail on my part! but that looked like AN AMAZING weekend!!! i want a spontaneous awesome trip….hhhmmmm…i'm thinking….

  18. Annie says

    Oh boy….I sorta have my own language too….and our fav words are quite similar 🙂

    I use skank..and skank-o-la often (but you and I have already realized our likeness there…)

    I probably say whatev more than anything else…because adding the 'er' is just WAY to much for me. If it is something maj…I put it in two syllabals…like WHAT-EV!!

    and, because I am like 12 (or almost 30ish)…I say OMG, and LOL, and WTF….like say those letters….not the actual sayings.

    I 'loves' things all of the time….plural….loves it!

    And lastly…I add 'kins' on to pretty much anyone that I loves. Like…baby-kins, mommy-kins, daddy-kins, sissy-kins, roomie-kins…you know and on and on. My friends think this is NUTS but now all call me Anni-kins. It just rolls of the tounge.

    whatev..that's enough…p.o. (I say that for peace out…duh).

  19. Jax's Mama says

    You're so funny. My hubby loves the phrase "dirty pirate hooker" and uses it most frequently while driving, haha. I usually just abbreviate bad words now that Jax is here. My favorite is "What the H?" and "What the french toast" is pretty fun, too. I'm sure I have tons more but I haven't had my sugar-free Redbull yet and my brain isn't properly functioning. Have a great day Mama 🙂

  22. Erika says

    ok, so you know some of my words… they are just about as random as yours:

    1) bomb shinnony – basically anything that's awesome. can also be shortened to just "bomb" (which i know billy loves LOL)
    2) OMG – yeah, you have to spell it out and emphasize each letter… makes WAYYY more impact this way, LOL
    3) whatevs – obvious, but the extra syllable is SO unnecessary

  24. Muthering Heights says

    I always think it's funny when people say "Whatev" rather than whatever…I'd say that's my favorite one to hear.

    My favorite to say is "vexed," as in "I'm quite vexed about that!"

  25. missy says

    oh my gosh……this crack me up!!!!! i really did laugh out loud!!!!!
    we use WORD & LEGIT!!! alot!!!

    Dirty Pirate Hooker…….CRACKED me up!!!!

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